Satisfaction of work. Short Essay
I couldn't agree more with what Atul Gawande said about work as a doctor. Our identity is closely tied to our competence, not the work itself. When we are incompetent, we are close to being worthless. Training, retraining, relearning, all those words in the lifelong learning box seeping into our daily lives. I have seen good-willed doctors became stingy and hammered down by the battles that were lost.
When you are in your study phase, almost everything you do did not solve anything. Now, I'm still clueless. I don't know how to deal with dying patients, hopeless family members, numb healthworkers, rigid health system.
I had my fair share of nightmares when I was partially confused, partially saddened by the death of my patients -- or, the times when I doubt my intellectual capacity. It was confidence-breaking.
How am I going to live a satisfying life, or to begin with, live a normal life?